Monday, December 10, 2012

Styx

  I'm sorry for being gone, it's just that school's catching up to me, and this shadow called stress has been overcoming me lately. I don't know when can I persistently write again. Probably in break? But I don't know. I've been sick lately, unsteady in my health. Anyways, there's this myth in Greek mythology. Don't get me wrong, I am a Christian. 

  However, reading about other religions is kinda interesting. Greek Gods are really amazing. Their perception of heaven and hell are combined into one underworld. Before that, you will have to pay a fee to cross a river. The river Styx, to get there. Before you die, your loved ones will put a coin under your tongue, so you could pay for the boat ride across the river. Otherwise, you  just stay on the other side, wandering. 

  Right now, I look exactly like that. so lost.It feels like nothing is happening, and the weight of the world is on me. So close, yet so far. So near, yet so distant. Just when you think you're out you're whisked right back in. It's like running barefoot on the slipping hot sand, midday in the desert, and only being able to stay in the shade of the tree that's a couple miles ahead of you. And when you do reach there, you stay in the shade savoring sweet victory. And then, you realize you're standing in quicksand. Like you're drowning slowly. 

  It just seems so much and too much to handle you know? People always tell you to rely on God, but then at the same time they tell you to take up on your own responsibilities. And what is relying on God? What is his love? All these testimonies of how people were dramatically saved, and yet I'm just here, lost and confused, on the other side of the Styx...

 "It's like I'm a flitting ghost, not a warrior. The bullets don't ricochet, they just go right through me. It's like I don't even hurt. It's like I've lost the ability to rebel, hate, and love. It's like I'm a dead unfeeling rock. A soul on the other side of the Styx. Wandering and swaying in the haunting silence. I don't even, care. Anymore. I'm not even alive, and I need not fight anymore. Looking at the world spin without me, the distant battle of what used to seem so important. Now it's like I'm dead."


Please email me at hopeforthestargazers@gmail.com, comment and share. 
Till next time, 
Victoria Lee










No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you! :) All comments are appreciated.