Anyways, one thing I learnt so far was to count my blessings. Remember that elementary Bible teacher telling you how millions of people are homeless, dying, in poverty, hopeless, and you are sitting here blessed in this classroom? So you might have a story behind you. How your friends have betrayed you, how you lost it all, how you fell down to rock bottom in a single move. How you couldn't control anything and everything just fell apart? I've been there. Many have.
When you see the one's you grew up with blossom, and you're still a seed. When you look at this kid and you could just say: She's got it made. Then you look at the mirror. What a failure. How could you!? Disappointing all these people, not living up to expectations, not being enough, not doing well enough. Sitting home on a Friday evening while everyone else is invited to a mega slumber party. Someone holding a grudge against you, and you don't understand. What could be! What could be... And what is. Everyone else is having fun at the amusement park. And I'm here at home watching TV. Woe is me. I don't get it. Why don't I get that? Do I not deserve that?
But then 2 things happened. I went to Cambodia, and the story of Job reached me. In Cambodia, I was sick, and I had high fever and a really bad stomach ache. I was about to miss the tourist attraction because of all that. I was in my bed, knowing everyone else was down at their breakfast table. Me in my hotel room. What could possibly be worse? I prayed to get better, first time it was just me and God, no parents, not a lot of medical aid.
Cambodia was a rural place. We (My school- it was a school trip) had visited orphans the day before. No AC, no beds, no running water, no chargers, flies everywhere, and yes, no internet. I was in my room, television at my fingertips, AC on blast, toilet a few feet away. I was in a bed, under the covers, and I was complaining. I had the funds to get here and back! And to those who are living in stilt houses living off sponsors? If they had this fever and tummy ache they would most possibly be dead. No care would be provided for them. They were outcast. After realizing this... I felt so bad. I heard this old Chinese saying that if you were born in a blessed place, you don't know the meaning of what is blessed. (身在福中不知福) I felt like these FWP were not problems. I started from praying for myself to praying... for them. Ten minutes later, my temperature went from 39.2°C to 37.6°C. I could go.
It always looks bad. Job, He went from everything, to nothing. But the Lord gives and takes away. He said, "I came naked from my mother's womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The LORD gave me what I had, and the LORD has taken it away. Praise the name of the LORD!" Look at Jonah next. He complained when the parasite ate the tree away. But the tree was never his to begin with! Neither was my joy, my pleasures, my family, my friends. Why do we sulk so much when they are taken away? One thing to remember. Our life? Does not belong to us. And we deserve to be tortured, as we are sinners. But when we do get something bad, we must remember the good. Or it will be uneven, and you will feel upset and depressed.
I'm going to end this with a link to a song. Through this month, this song has stood out to me. If God seems far, and you don't feel him through all the bad things you have been through, listen to it. It's called Blessings, by Laura Story.
Please email me at hopeforthestargazers@gmail.com, comment and share.
Till next time,
Victoria Lee
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